Quick Kick (2010)
36 hours ago
by Rob Buzan
I’ll admit that for the most part, my Pursuit of Cobra purchases went into baggies soon after being opened. That’s not to say I didn’t like the figures; bagging is just a process I’ve been doing ever since the 2000′s when I was collecting both new Star Wars and Joes. I would buy a new wave, and put most of the figures in bags. It’s mostly about storage. As much as I would like to display every figure, I just don’t have the space. So the choicest figure (or two) in a wave would end up taking a place of honor on my desk, hanging out next to my monitor until another cool figure came along to supplant it.
This Toys R Us exclusive version of Quick Kick was a desk figure for a long while. In the midst of the PoC line’s realism, he stood out with the kind of fun details I enjoy. Most importantly, the look. Quick Kick came outfitted as Game of Death Bruce Lee by way of the Cobra Kai dojo. The fight suit theme was a brilliant choice, and finally gives the man an outfit that doesn’t seen patently ridiculous among his teammates. The Kung Fu Grip logo on the vest is the crowning touch. Seeing this little callback to the 70′s made me giggle like a schoolgirl.
The glove accessories are a nice inclusion, and I’m also glad he got a little firepower this time around. Oh yeah, and shoes.
Professor Gangrene (1997 Action Man)
51 day ago
by Rob Buzan
I can say this without hesitation or embarrassment: I have a thing for the 90′s Action Man. Not in that way—get your minds out of the gutter, people. I’m talking about the toys and the animated series.
Having grown up as a small scale Joe fan, most of my exposure to the 12 inch format came from the Hall of Fame series. I have a couple vague memories of Adventure Team toys from a childhood neighbor, but certainly nothing concrete. The Hall of Fame toys, while nicely made in terms of being RAH mannequins, left a lot to be desired in articulation.
Enter the Hasbro Action Man line. I first learned of its existence through the toy collectiing magazines of the time, and was instantly fascinated with the look of the figures and the packaging. The bodies looked to be more articulate than the then-modern 12 inch Joes. The accessories were different, and quite well detailed. To top it off, the series had its own villain.
Unfortunately, the line appeared to be exclusive to the UK. Bummer. But wait, the initial Action Man was soon ported over to the US, and I happily picked up the Red Ninja, Scuba, and mountain climber Action Man figures. I also grabbed up villain Dr. X, a sublimely ridiculous looking mohawked figure with blinking LEDs in his exposed brain.
Professor Gangrene, Dr. X’s scientist henchman, follows suit in fashion craziness. With a face and hair like this, how could he not have become a mad scientist? This wasn’t the zenith of weirdness for the Professor, as his look became progressively stranger in later series. Unfortunately, I’m missing his water-squirting weapon, which is probably for the best. I wouldn’t want Action Man’s uniforms to get wet and shrink.
Special Event Update
21 day ago
by Rob Buzan
To those who contacted me regarding the special event, thanks for your interest. I’m working out final details, so watch your email for an update soon.
Calling All Friends of Joe A Day
62 days ago
by Rob Buzan
Want to be a part of history? Well, stop reading this and go apply yourself to something worthwhile and important.
Want to be a part of an upcoming special event on this here goofy blog? Send me a message via the Contact page. I’ll provide the details to all interested parties. Mysterious, huh?
Doc (1983)
62 days ago
by Rob Buzan
Doc was among the first group of replacements in the Joe comic, and I still remember seeing the commerical one morning before school. I just had to have the Polar Battle Bear afterwards. As wonderful as the toys and comic were, the one-two punch of marketing brilliance in an animated comic book commercial was equally important in getting us little guys begging our parents to buy GI Joes.
Though Doc was a pacifist, he didn’t have a problem throwing down on Destro (with a snowball and a solid tackle) on his first mission. Doc didn’t come out the victor by a long shot, but he did get credit for saving his fellow Joes by securing an antidote from Destro in the scuffle. Doc actually gets quite a large role and some great characterization in that debut appearance.
The 1983 Joes are still among my favorites, both for the explosion of specialties as well as accessories. Doc filled out the ranks with a much needed medic. It’s a long standing army toy tradition; even my old green Marx army men had a couple of tiny stretcher bearing figures. Though he wasn’t equiped with a weapon, Doc still saw a lot of use, thanks to his essential battlefield skills and his great stretcher accessory. Unlike my poor little Marx medics who walked around forever empty-handed, I never misplaced my Joes’ stretcher.
Back to the Marvel comic, Doc was later one of a group of Joes who were gunned down by the murderous SAW Viper in Trucial Abysmia. It’s disappointing that he was a part of such brutal character house-cleaning. I didn’t have a problem with most of Battle Force 2000 getting eighty-sixed in a further culling of the ranks, but I would rather have seen an old friend like Doc simply retired or kicked upstairs.
Anti-Aircraft Gun (1987 Action Pack)
113 days ago
by Rob Buzan
Remember the 80′s, when the Real American Hero line was still based in a not-too-distant future military style based on a great deal of cutting edge equipment, like anti-aircraft guns that could be strapped to a soldier’s back? Surely nothing so silly would have been released in Joe’s halcyon decade, right? Well, it was 1987, the same year that Cobra released its most isidious weapon to date, a vertical one-man driveway egder.
Little do most people know, this weapon is based in reality. The Dollar General Dynamics WTH-42, though an intriguing idea in theory, never made it past a working prototype stage, as it injured more operators than it did shoot down potential targets. Testers and army doctors not so lovingly referred to it as the “lumbar strainer”, the “sacroiliac ruiner” and even “widowmaker.” Naturally, the Department of Defense passed on its use within the regular armed forces. They had no compunction about lending the design to Hasbro, on the grounds that they never reveal its real life origins. Through the Freedom of Misinformation Act, now the story can be told.
See people, I’m working hard for you every day, like it or not.
We Interrupt this Blog for a Special Message
53 days ago
by Rob Buzan
For anyone who’s freaking out over the pushback of the Retaliation movie, and the supposed removal of the associated toys from stores, I’ve invited Storm Shadow to invoke a special version of the Arashikage Mind-Set that will put you at ease…
GI Joe Trooper (2012 Retaliation)
74 days ago
by Rob Buzan
The GI Joe Trooper appears to be a new iteration of the generic troop idea that started with the Steel Brigade. I say appears because the movie figures forego file cards, long a staple of Joe figures. I’m more than a little disappointed in this missing piece of the toyline. Those little bits of fiction included with the figures are an integral part of the small Joe mythos. As it stands, I have no idea if this figure represents what will appear in the movie.
When I first saw the press pictures of the GI Joe Trooper, the helmet screamed out Halo. I still can’t escape the comparison, but now that I have the figure in hand, the quality of the rest of the figure more than makes up for the stylistic cribbing. In terms of accessories and articulation, the Trooper is closer to the Pursuit of Cobra/30th anniversary than others in the new movie line.
The gear and its storage are easily up to the standard of PoC figures like Snow Job and Firefly. He’s equipped to the extreme, with four handguns, three rifles, two knives, entrenching tool, a cloak and gas mask. It all plugs in somewhere, so he can actually carry his entire arsenal. The extra head is the only extra part that doesn’t have a home.
All of the modern articulation remains, including the side swivel ankle joints seen on Renegades Scarlett. The extra head is a nice touch, and if mohawks aren’t your style, you can easily perform a head swap and transform this figure into just about any Joe. I’m also happy that the version I picked up didn’t have a blue cloak and gas mask as seen in the package pictures.
The delay of the movie and later waves of toys is a letdown, to be sure. While some fans are concerned about the future of the brand in light of recent events, if I can still open up a GI Joe figure and be drawn into the same sense of fun and excitement I had when I was a kid, I don’t have any worries. GI Joe figures still have a magical spell over me, and i don’t mind if I have to wait nine months to be enchanted again.
Wild Boar (1989)
55 days ago
by Rob Buzan
A few days ago I wrote about a Cobra figure that looked like an Iron Grenadier but was not. Today, it’s the opposite, an Iron Grenadier that doesn’t look like one. In fact, I’m not really sure what this figure looks like. It is dang weird though.
Wild Boar is the strange driver of a strange vehicle, the Razorback. I have to hand it to Destro on the forethought of the namings here, he really tied them together. Kudos, Laird Jimmy.
This figure has always perplexed me. Maybe not the entire figure, but the helmet at least. The rest of the figure is decent enough, if lacking in paint details (a common issue for drivers of the time). Wild Boar’s helmet is the oddest I can recall, and that’s a bold statement in a time when guys like Long Range were pushing the envelope of chapeau fashion.
This helmet looks like a shower cap as designed by Buckminster Fuller, with a little stealth technology thrown in. The really odd thing about the helmet is that it doesn’t quite seem to fit. The coup de grace of this odd lid is the hose that connects from the side to the figure’s arm. Maybe I’m off base, and this thing is based on some real life advanced military technology of the 80′s. Whatever the case, it makes Wild Boar look like a real snickerdoodle.
Another point worth mentioning is the end of the guy’s nose. It’s got to be pointiest nose on any Joe figure. It’s so bad that the paint has been scuffed off of mine. Painted face–wait a minute, that means this figure has a dreaded painted face rather than molded flesh colored plastic. Noooo! Nerd rage!
Snake Eyes (2012 Dollar General)
36 days ago
by Rob Buzan
Have I written too often about Snake Eyes? I apologize if I have, but love him or hate him, you can’t deny his presence. You also can’t deny his wardrobe changes. Though most are of the black and grey variety, he did add a splash of color in 1991. I still have an intense appreciation for that figure; I daresay its my favorite next to the original and ’85 versions.
When I saw pictures of the Dollar General figures, Snake Eyes was a must buy, since he’s an homage to ’91. I was excited for a modern style figure, kind of a rarity for me. I have to report that having the figure in hand, I’m a bit disappointed. Like the Storm Shadow from the same assortment, Snake Eyes is a good approximation of the original. The parts combination, however doesn’t quite come together in terms of fit. It’s the issue that Dave from Flag Points has brought up in several podcasts, the modern figures are inconsistent. Specifically, the size and style of parts can vary from figure to figure. The ’83-’94 figure parts for the most part are easily interchangeable, and though there are differences in bulk from early to late figures, and also the early straight arm and neck ball differences, I can pretty much Frankenstein a figure without much trouble.
Not so with the modern era. That’s where my disappointment comes in. Snakes has the inverse problem of Shipwreck from this series. The neck ball for this torso and the head used result in a short neck. The kicking Storm Shadow arms are a nice representation of the ’91 figures gauntlets, but the elbows don’t have much range of motion. Finally, the torso has a few holes in it due to the chest knives and belt clips that were part of the base figure.
Finally, the vest. It’s just too bulky. I would have preferred something along the lines of the smaller 30th RoC webgear. I don’t mean to be too hard on the figure; I do appreciate the effort at replicating a classic mold in the modern era. But there are limits on what can be accomplished without new tooling.
