Joe Toys That Could Have Been: MASS Device Figures – Part 1
By Past Nastification
This week I continue looking at Sunbow’s MASS Device mini-series as a source for toys. Last week I talked about the vehicles Hasbro could make, now I’ll talk about potential action figures. If you’ve seen the customs I’ve made based on many of these characters, my apologies in advance for repeating my thoughts. The MASS Device series has plenty of action figure subjects to cover, so stay tuned for the next entry soon!
Cloaked Destro: When arriving at the Cobra headquarters, Destro wore a hooded cape and a cloak over his already-crazy outfit. Almost looking like a Jedi, this would be easy for Hasbro to make with some rubber pop-on accessories.
Flagg/Hooper: General Flagg and Major Hooper met Duke to have GI Joe test a military facility’s security. General Flagg is closer in appearance to the comic books’ General Austin. Major Hooper turned out to be the Baroness in disguise, which explained her puffy face but thin legs. Even though the dress green uniform has been retired by the US Army, this is what the figures should be wearing. If you’ve read any of my rants on joecustoms.com, then you already know how frustrated I am that Hasbro has never really put out a decent dress uniform or civilian suited figure. Bonus points if Hasbro could make Major Hooper/the Baroness a working disguise figure.
US Soldiers: The Joes were supposed to be the best of the best. So by comparing them to standard American Soldiers of the day, Sunbow showed us that the Joes and their fancy attire were slightly ahead of the time. Sporting baggier uniforms and pre-composite helmets, the generic Sunbow US Soldier design looks dated now- and even cooler for it. By way of the 30th anniversary generic soldier/marine figures (later released as keychain figures) we sort of got this in 3.75 format.
Cobra Captives/Selina: Cobra held a cave dungeon full of captives. This included Duke’s raven-haired lady-on-the-side, Selina. If Hasbro were to work up figures for a few captives, it could easily recolor them and their tattered clothing for re-release as zombies.
Dr. Vandermeer: Star Trek’s Scotty hadn’t been born yet, and the Joes needed help putting together a transporter. Who did they ask for help? Dr. Vandermeer, the super nerd! Yes, another figure in a suit.
Ramar: Freakishly tall and strong, and most likely suffering from unimaginable halitosis, Ramar was forced to fight Duke in the Cobra Arena of Sport. He and Selina later joined in the fight against Cobra. This would probably be the tallest 1:18 figure Hasbro could make.
Science Nerds: Dr. Vandermeer couldn’t do all that nerding by himself. Yet again, I ask Hasbro to get over its fear of sculpting suits.