Cobra Commander (2011)
Throughout his history, Cobra Commander has been a man unafraid to bring a little style into the world conquering game. From his debut in 1982, he was outfitted in a nicely tailored uniform, complete with a snappy, single-breasted waistcoat, cleanly lined epaulets, matching lapel and belt insignia, and spats (yes, spats!) Oh yeah, and if one belt wasn’t good enough, he was wearing two. The man had to be the most put-together of all the 80s pop culture villains. Do you think Skeletor had any piped trousers hanging in his closet at Snake Mountain? Did Megatron wear a Cybertronian ascot? I don’t even want to mention Mumm-Ra–I’ve seen hobos who could outdress that rancidly ragged muttonhead mummy. Nope, Cobra Commander is a special breed of madman.
And so the attention to appearance continued even into the Pursuit of Cobra line. This time, the decorative elements extend to accessories, and the Commander pulled out all the stops. Not only is he wearing a full cape again, but he’s also got a flashy ceremonial sword, and trifecta of serpentine symbols, featuring a sword, scepter and staff and dagger. Where did he find these things? Was he watching the two goofballs who sell swords and knives by the truckload on the Shop at Home Network late one night? Regardless, he’s looking fancy schmancy yet again.
Of course, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention his pants. They say that to appreciate the good, one must also look at the other end of the spectrum. So many times during these Nice Pants entries, we’ve seen the loud, the kitschy, and the downright ugly. Along those lines, I figured it was time for a little perspective, and what better way to provide it than to present an action figure who’s dressed in some truly nice pants. Very sensible and classy. You go, Commander.