Cobra Commander (2005)

Wow, is this ever a Cobra Commander for special occasions. It’s Fancy Dress Ball Cobra Commander. In the annals of tastelessly attired villainry, this one deserves a Hall of Fame spot.

I suppose the red is meant to convey a sense of the regal and formal, but the plastic used make him look like a cheap Christmas ornament. It’s oddly both dull and colorful. The plastic also has a kind of reflective quality that makes it look like it’s made of sugar. Strange.

For the first time, the Commander is wearing opera gloves. Maybe they were going for a two-toned sleeve look, but to me he seems to be wearing elbow length gloves. But that’s not the best part of the outfit. Check out the cape. What can I say here? I’ve seen more tasteful velvet Elvis paintings. I think the Commander pulled this thing out of his pre-terrorist days as a car dealer in the 70’s. There must have been a custom van on his lot, and he really dug the curtains, so he made a cape.

Finally, the chair. Oh my goodness, the chair. A castoff from one of the Star Wars prequel Jedi Council chairs, it’s more than a bit on the small side. The thing sits so low, it looks more like one of those foam toddler chairs than the impressive throne you’d expect of the leader of Cobra’s forces. Perhaps Serpentor gets all the good furniture these days.


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