Viper (2008)

The Viper from the FANG and CLAW two pack is a thing of beauty to an aficionado of odd and unusual Joes. Who in their right mind would put this combination of colors together? That’s one of the things I love about the GI Joe brand’s longevity and diversity; you can really make of it want you want; even when you should know better. Coming up with a story to fit these eclectic repaints like this into my own unique version of the mythos is a fun challenge. So here goes…

An alternate reality exists right next door to our own. An entire universe occupies our same space, only in a negative way. In it, up is down, front is back, and red is blue. Cobra has tapped into this force of the neighboring dimension by powering a laser with negative zone force. This force, when directed at a trooper, imbues him with negative energy, giving him superior speed and reflexes. Thus is born the Nega-Viper! Tremble at his clashing uniform! (Which by the way is a side effect of the beam and not at all the result of poor taste or color blindness on the part of Cobra upper management. Thank you.) While the result is garish to normal human eyes, no one’s arguing about the fighting ability of a super quick and accurate Viper squad.

From General Hawk’s command files: “I thought I had seen it all from Cobra: bikers, mad scientists, mercenaries, ninjas, robots, –hell, they even have a guy who dresses up like a bird. But when I first caught sight of a squad of Nega-Vipers coming at us on the battlefield, I knew we were in for the worst. My eyes almost bled from the colors! What evil will Cobra Commander throw at us next, mutated bears wearing horizontal stripes?!”