Long Range (1989)

Long Range’s file card states that he’s earned the nickname “the Knock-Out Man” due to his incredibly effective abilities as an artillery man. “The Blink and You’ll Miss Him Man” would be a more apropos nickname for his media appearances. The poor guy only made a few small comic appearances and a brief cameo in DIC’s Operation Dragonfire series. He’s

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Iguanus (2001)

I really miss my old local mall, and Kay-Bee Toy Store in particular. An odd thing to say, since much of their product was overpriced and then artifically marked down with phony-baloney looking price stickers. If memory serves, I believe they lost a class-action lawsuit about that particularly bad business practice. But I still have a soft spot for the

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Downtown (1989)

Couldn’t this guy have just been Short-Fuse? He certainly has the look and the specialty to be the Joe team’s original mortar soldier. Other ’82 Joes had the redo treatment later in the line. Actually, this did happen when the mold was re released as Short-Fuze in 2004. Regardless of name, it was a welcome addition to have another mortar

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Shadow Viper (2001)

Shadow Vipers are described on the file card as infiltration and espionage specialists, but come on, we all know this is still the Astro-Viper, of the Cobra astronaut corps. Also according to the file card, they cover themselves in powder in order to pass undetected during infiltration. Really? So that’s not a space-based EVA pack on his back? I assume

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Black Out (2003)

I really thought that the 2000’s Joe series was going to take off. Ultimately, I was wrong. But what made me think it would have succeeded? Well, Hasbro had successfully reinvigorated Transformers in the 2000’s for a new generation with new toy lines, why couldn’t they do the same with Joe? The new line had a comic book from Devil’s Due and

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