Dee Jay (1989)
Leave it to Battle Force 2000 to give us the absolute doofiest Joe ever, bar none. I don’t care how long the Joe line lasts, nothing will top this guy on the doofus scale. Now let me be clear about this, there’s a difference between bad and doofy. Stars and Stripes Breaker–bad. Dee Jay–doofy.
It takes a special kind of figure to achieve what Dee Jay does. Throughout the history of the small Joe line, there have been many crazy designs. There have been many crazy specialties. But it takes a combination of both to get a guy like this. Communications specialists are generally cool concepts in the Joe line, witness Breaker and Dial Tone. Both cool comm specialists, and classics both. Dee-Jay is a Joe whose code name is literal, as he was a disc jockey before joining the Joe team. Oh, brother.
And the doofiness doesn’t stop there. Let’s break down the figure itself. Kid’s bike helmet on the head–check. Skin tight shirt–check. Codpiece–check. Blue jeans tucked into thigh-high ribbed legwarmers–check. Finally, the boots. Oh my goodness the boots. Oh, the humanity, those boots! It’s like Satan went to Florsheim and special ordered white disco boots for his cloven hooves. They’re honestly the weirdest footwear I’ve seen on an action figure.
One thing the figure has going for him is consistency, as the accessories are also appropriately doofy. The rifle looks like something Buster Crabbe might have picked up on planet Mongo. I hesitate to even discuss the phallic backpack.
Want an idea of the kind of respect he commanded from GI Joe comic scribe Larry Hama? Dee-Jay debuted and died in the same issue. ‘Nuff said.