Cross Country (2002 India)
Even as a kid, I couldn’t stand ’86 Cross Country. Some of it was the unique yet bland vehicle he piloted. Some of it was the confederate angle. I think most of it had to do with his incredibly dorky head sculpt. He looked like SCTV alum Rick Moranis to me. Could anything be done to ’86 Cross Country to make him look goofier?
The answer is yes, if you send part of his molds to India, and use non-matching early parts to make up the rest. This figure approaches India Big Brawler levels of ridiculousness, and I think eclipses the Brawling One in the accessory department. How is that possible? One word–chrome.
The previous Joe to brandish shiny weapons was Super Trooper. If that’s not goofy company, I don’t know what is.
But reflective weapons alone do not a legend of goofiness make. What we have here is a Frankenstein job of epic proportions. The torso and head are of course ’86 Cross Country, but the legs belong to the ’82-’83 Joes. I’m at a loss as to who the weirdly unpainted arms come from.
Finally, the paint job–oh lordy–the paint job! The later Funskool figures aren’t known for crisp paint jobs, but this one has to be the sloppiest. The face is the worst aspect, and brings me back to my original point. Cross Country’s ugly mug was never my favorite, and a spray-on mustache and beady eyes don’t do it any favors.