Cross Country (2002 India)

Even as a kid, I couldn’t stand ’86 Cross Country. Some of it was the unique yet bland vehicle he piloted. Some of it was the confederate angle. I think most of it had to do with his incredibly dorky head sculpt. He looked like SCTV alum Rick Moranis to me. Could anything be done to ’86 Cross Country to make him  look goofier?

The answer is yes, if you send part of his molds to India, and use non-matching early parts to make up the rest. This figure approaches India Big Brawler levels of ridiculousness, and I think eclipses the Brawling One in the accessory department. How is that possible? One word–chrome.

The previous Joe to brandish shiny weapons was Super Trooper. If that’s not goofy company, I don’t know what is.
But reflective weapons alone do not a legend of goofiness make.  What we have here is a Frankenstein job of epic proportions. The torso and head are of course ’86 Cross Country, but the legs belong to the ’82-’83 Joes. I’m at a loss as to who the weirdly unpainted arms come from.

Finally, the paint job–oh lordy–the paint job! The later Funskool figures aren’t known for crisp paint jobs, but this one has to be the sloppiest. The face is the worst aspect, and brings me back to my original point. Cross Country’s ugly mug was never my favorite, and a spray-on mustache and beady eyes don’t do it any favors.

14 comments

  • he was my jumping on point. just kidding.

  • Steven B. Williams

    What in the world has India done to Cross Country? I liked Cross Country because he was from my home state plus I liked the H.A.V.O.C. (I, too, didn’t like the Confederate part). The original face had a common man’s face as opposed to the handsome squared-jaw All-American like Duke, but this….this looks like something we would see in a spoof of G.I. Joe. @_@

  • I don’t think that I have ever seen this figure. What has been seen will never be unseen. Wow…

  • His face looks like Mario and Luigi

  • A little less Rick Moranis’ Bob McKenzie only to become the Bob Hoskins Mario. The Funskool stuff continually amazes & dumbfounds.

  • India sure knew how to mix think up. What an awful figure! Cross Country’s head was based on a Hasbro designer who (thankfully) looks nothing like him. I think that Larry Hama and the guys at Sunbow made him a likeable and endearing character to balance out stuff such as the Dixie element (“I’m no hill-billy! I’m a RED-NECK! — And proud of it!”) or his laid back manner in the cartoon. As such, Cross Country actually became one of my favorite Joes. His portrayal during the Dreadnok clashes with Thrasher and his bravery during the Battle of Bezheen helped solidify Cross Country’s status. That said, his figures have sucked and I’m still waiting for a cool 25th Anniversary style version. He deserves it! All I can say about India’s offering is that shiny weapons are cool, although being Funskool, the chrome is not bound to last too long.

  • I’ve always found his chrome version of Pysche Out’s pistol to be worth the $2 you could get him for a few years ago. This is definitely one of Funskool’s poorer releases. The sad thing, we were supposed to get a newly repainted version of the ’89 Rock and Roll mold from Funskool around this time. However, Hasbro asked for it back to use in the ’01 HQ. Funskool sent it, but Hasbro didn’t use it. Hasbro then gave it back to Funskool, but they cancelled their line before it ever got back into use.

  • I’d like to see him with a chrome head. Ok, I’ll stop.

  • Jonah Hardenbrook

    I have never seen this figure before, and it is one of the most bizarre amalgamations I’ve ever seen.

  • The lower arms are WILD WEASEL’S, the two figures swapped lower arms in India. this gave Wild Weasel an interesting look, and Cross Country here look even more freakish.

    I like this figure; it’s an awesome train wreck. And it can be used as an entirely new character. Sadly mine had a bad elbow rivet and one of his lower arms pops off the time. Funskool elbow rivets are spotty like that.

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  • I’ve finally cracked it! I know what his arms are! His uppers are BF2K Blaster’s, while his lower arms are 1992 Wild Bill’s!

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